The Interplay Between Substance Use, Connection and Disconnection The Interplay Between Substance Use, Connection and Disconnection
It’s a Thursday morning when I’m sitting down with my client for a substance use assessment. He eloquently shares a story I hear all too often. He started drinking socially, about 15 years ago. It was casual and fun, allowing him to feel connected. But as the years progressed, things shifted. Gradually, drinking alone became his go-to when times got tough. He knew alcohol provided him with instantaneous relief, so it became the support he leveraged under times of distress. The distress continued to build, and so too did his alcohol consumption, impacting his marriage, career, mood and motivation. With disheartened eyes, he described a life of loneliness. His goal with me was to empower himself and regain control over his drinking.
Substance use and connection
It would be a biased conversation if we didn’t acknowledge the benefits of using substances. Many people start drinking as a way to connect and enjoy the company of others. Using substances activates the reward-system, releasing feel-good neurotransmitters. This influx of chemicals results in feelings of pleasure and reward, making the experience of social situations more enjoyable and enhances a sense of belonging.
Take my client from earlier. In the beginning, alcohol helped him feel like part of a group. It wasn’t the alcohol itself that was the issue; it was how he used it over time that changed his experience of himself and his relationships.
Using substances can serve as a catalyst for personal and social connections. In moderate amounts, it undeniably softens our guards, tension, and allows us to be present with our surroundings. It can reduce our inhibitions making it more likely that we will meet new people, communicate with our loved ones, and enjoy a quiet evening to ourselves. It’s about finding balance—knowing when substance use is for pleasure versus when it’s becoming a problem.
Substance use and disconnection: A Complex Cycle
Substance use becomes a problem when someone engages in it for short-term relief despite it’s negative consequences. An imbalance in use often affects multiple areas of someone’s life such as emotional well-being, physical health, relationships, work and personal growth.
Disconnection caused by substance use refers to an inability to feel, experience, and respond to emotions such as loneliness, anxiety, and pain. It allows people to escape or avoid uncomfortable feelings and stressful situations. The more we rely on substances to manage tough emotions, the more we lose touch with who we are and what truly fulfills us. This internal disconnection can extend into our social lives, creating physical and emotional distance from loved ones. Over time, this disconnect can even extend into our relationships. It’s common to feel the need to hide, withdraw, or isolate, leading to a cycle of shame, guilt, and—yes—more loneliness.
The relationship between substance use and disconnection are intertwined, both influencing and reinforcing each other. On a physical level, substance use alters brain chemistry, particularly affecting dopamine and other neurotransmitters involved in reward and pleasure. Scientific evidence has demonstrated that substance use impacts three areas of the brain: the basil ganglia, the amygdala, and the prefrontal cortex. Initially, substances like alcohol or other drugs create a high, giving a rush of happiness and ease. But as the brain adjusts, it begins to need more of the substance to feel “normal.” Over time, the brain becomes more reliant on these substances to feel normal which reduces the person’s ability to find joy, and connection in everyday activities and relationships.
Reflecting on Your Relationship with Substance Use
The amount, how often, and where someone uses substances can determine whether substance use is fostering connection or disconnection. Determining what function substance use serves in your life is personal to you.
Understanding the role of substance use in your life starts with a few honest questions. Think about your own habits and motivations:
- Do I often drink alone?
2. Have I lied to my loved ones about my substance use?
3. Have I withdrawn socially?
4. Is my sleep impacted due to my substance use?
5. Do I struggle with controlling my substance use?
6. Do I use substances when I’m feeling sad, angry, stressed?
7. Do I ever feel the need hide my substance use?
The more questions you’ve answered “yes” to, the more likely it is that your substance use is veering to the side of disconnection. Recognizing this is a big step, and it’s a step toward change. Here are three strategies to help you maintain a healthy relationship with substances:
- Pause use if you’re feeling challenging emotions: If you’re using substances as a way to move away or avoid emotional discomfort, try giving yourself a moment. Habitual use is more likely to occur when you’re using substances as a crutch to move away from your feelings. Sit with your emotions and see if there’s another way to process them
- Set a limit for yourself: When you go out, or when you’re at home, set a boundary for yourself so you have a clear goal in mind.
- Try sober days: Negative impacts from substance use are more likely to occur when consumed on a daily basis, so why not try a few days without alcohol or other substances each week? There are benefits to it, like clearer thinking, better sleep and the chance to reconnect with activities and other people.
Substance use, in moderation, has the potential to deepen our connections. But when it becomes a way to disconnect, it can contribute to feelings of isolation. By reflecting on the function it serves and the impact it has on your life, you develop a deeper awareness of yourself and are empowered to determine how substances complement your lifestyle.
ALAViDA is here to help you redefine your relationship with substances. We offer a range of support options in addition to resources on digital use, gambling and more. Access this link to explore further.
About the Author:
Brianne is a Certified Canadian Addiction Counsellor, a Registered Professional Counsellor – Candidate, and a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. She is a registered member of the Canadian Addiction Counsellor Certification Federation and the Canadian Professional Counselling Association. For over a decade, she has been committed to training and supporting individuals and families within the private and public sector. Brianne brings a unique, holistic approach to understanding and treating substance using behaviors.